October 20, 2020

Letter part 2: Last conference thought: I am just so overwhelmingly grateful that God's love is not based on our behavior, and that he asks us that our love for each other is not as well. With his infinite love He/They hope to lift us from our carnal and fallen state and help us learn to feel and share that love. That's the deal, and I love it. Happenings at home: Coy is praying about law schools and trying to finish up his last semester. They are talking about applying to law schools together, Mama is worried about that. I hope that they choose to get him into the best law school they can for him. He's in his last semester, graduating in December. He is super busy, working, and school is really really hard this semester. DoTerra pulled him into an interview and said basically that they love him and want to keep him when he graduates. His salary will triple when he graduates and he's already making $25/hour. He's also praying about working for a while then going to law school. Becca is teaching at BYU, an honors class. She thrives on that and is really enjoying it. They are really into family and I love it. Mooks got a new job at a global supply chain company. He is using his chinese and absolutely loving it. Inventors bring in their ideas and this company engineers a prototype and helps them create it, produce it, and connects them to people who can market it and sell it in the stores. It is his bag of chips. He and Lydia are also rocking school. Lydia is super crafty and enjoying that. They are so fun. Aza's tire went flat yesterday and Mooks just jumped up and changed it. I love that kid. Spenny spen has a 4.0 and got an academic scholarship worth $2700. He works so hard. He school all day M/W then homework the rest. He is filling our house up with furniture that he's trying to sell on facebook marketplace, but we keep keeping a lot of it. He is such a hard worker. We're just finishing up putting up the greenhouse and his tree babies are starting to grow! That is so exciting! He and Lizzy are quite crazy about each other. Dad and I decided last night that we REALLY like her. She is so great for him in so many ways. She is super happy and super chill, and he would really struggle with someone who is emotional, needy and upset a lot because he is so preciously sensitive. She adores him and has fun helping him with all of his crazy little projects. Right now our house is FULL of succulents too. I love it. I'll send you pics. There are plants everywhere. Joseph Ross is so so good. He is so handsome, positive, upbeat, faithful, dedicated and his light shines so bright in our home even though he isn't physically here. His example is brilliant both deep and wide. He is precious to all of us and in all of our prayers always. He is so good at making the best of things and savoring the precious beauty of life. We love him. Nans is a touch stressed, not quite enough time to do all the things she wants to do. She needs a little more time alone to process and fill her bucket. I didn't really realize how much of an introvert she is until the last few years. She just needs that time. She is super social, being an introvert doesn't mean that you're not, it simply means that you recharge when you're alone and spend that energy when you're with others. An extrovert recharges with people. That's what I am. Even my recharging alone is with God and is a very social experience. Anyway, I'm super proud of her. It's been hard to have Sam quarantined because they now have two competitions in October. They didn't think they were competing until March! She loves it so so much, but there is a tendency with things we love to begin then, realize how much there is to learn, then get stressed about not being as good as we want to be at this thing that we initially started because we loved to do it, then be stressed and not love it as much. I hope she can navigate those waters and still have the experience be pure joy. Sethie is freakin' rocking it! He is trying to memorize a scripture a day, he wants to be president, he made his voice crack on purpose when he did the announcements to the whole school, he is doing really really well in football (he loves tight end which he tried out for and got), and really wants to be an athlete. he's doing great in school. I wish he had friends who called HIM every day to hang out. He does the calling, but I think we've all had phases of our life like that. He is funny. He's big, and somehow he has turned into you. He sounds like you, his mannerisms are like you and just reminds all of us so much of you it's crazy. We bought him blackout drapes and his insomnia has lessened a lot. Dad is being brave. Not feeling super great. this last week we did lots of homework, canning, compost runs, dance, mowing, cleaning and enjoying conference. I would love that last line to read: "This last week we had 3 nonmember families over and shared our testimonies of Jesus Christ, we spent 9 hours serving the poor by taking a meal to the homeless shelter, we published a video of our testimonies that went viral and got 9 million views and 3400 more missionary requests, we donated 9 million to fast offering....." . Oh that I were an angel and could speak with the trump of God! I'm trying to be the best person I can, I want to be, it just feels so selfish and small sometimes. I can barely get my homework done and the dishes done if I'm lucky. We can't have anyone over because of covid. One of the sweet takeaways from conference for me is an incredible shortening of the gap between worry and prayer. A combination of all the talks, testimonies and feelings I had have resulted in a compulsion to go straight to my knees with worries, fears, doubts or questions instead of lettting them pile up or reveling and sitting in them. I feel today that I can kneel immediately for anything and address it right then and there and then "give place no more for the enemy of my soul". I think that comes from a combination of conference and a blessing Coy received from Dad yesterday. He was told that He is a Son of God and he was invited, or told he had the privilege to kneel immediately and ask for the revelation, blessings of efficiency, and the clarity he needs to accomplish the work he needs to do. Today I just want to "bridge the gap" between problems and prayer to nothing, and I feel so invited to do that. It is wonderful. I LOVE YOU! May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.