Nov 6, 2023

Annie, girl, Love of my life! It's Christmas! Monday is the same thing as Christmas! Oh my girl, how are you? How is your heart? Health? Feelings? Socks? Tummy? Are you sleeping well? How were your lessons? What moments from the week do you want to keep forever? What laughs? What joys? What struggles? What sorrows? What scriptures thoughts and insights? What aches? Fears? Joys? Hopes? What thoughts of the past and thoughts of the future? What is the last thought you have before bed? What is your first thought in the morning? What are all the thoughts in between? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I can't WAIT to hear it all! This has been one of the most exquisitely scrumptious weeks for me. Adele's "born and raised in a summer haze" ain't got nothin on Grandma Jazza's lilfe, "Mimi" now according to Marcus. We just finished an epic birthday party weekend. Marcus is unbelievably yummy. They came early Saturday morning to clean and decorate. Pin the nose on the koala, little index card questions all over the house, write in a journal to him. We had an incredible meal with 6 or 7 different casserole things from Costco, sandwiches too, vegetable trays, treats, cheesecake, it was ridiculous. The weather was divine and PEOPLE CAME. The house looked GREAT. Mark and Trina even came, Rachel and Ruby, Marchants, Nate and Nic, Grandma Raz, friends of Coy and Bekah, Grandma Raz, it was super fun. The sweet little boy was jumping on the ottoman while his mom read the answers to the wall questions. People got really into that. He was so so cute with his presents. Jeni and Scott gave him a little Elmo and he just couldn't handle it. It fit right in his little fist and he was so happy to carry it around. Grandma Raz gave him so me little koala bears that Grandpa had and it was very special. Everyone was very thoughtful with his gifts. The scrumptious October weather was bathed in heavenly streams of autumn glory-the bounce house was up and it was just a wonderful afternoon. Bekah's whole family stayed the whole day, Ben had even driven up from SUU to be there. That night we celebrated Coy with homemade pizzas and board games. Small group but sweet feelings. We got him several books and game expansions. At one point the boys were just laughin at each other. Seth was gone all day at Sadie's at Timpview with Derek. He had SO MUCH FUN. Also, he shaved all of Derek's hair off. Friday was JIM'S FUNERAL. It was one of the best ever, worthy of him. It was so tender and so funny and so so wonderful. I need to write his family a letter and tell them all of the things he has done for us. I doubt they know. Do you remember the year he mowed our lawn? And I KNOW the box of food on our porch EVERY WEEK FOR A YEAR was from him-i know it. If we ever get a food pantry in our backyard we could call it the Jim and Audrey Drury memorial food pantry. I WANT IT SO BAD MY ADNOIDS ACHE AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE ADNOIDS. I am going to send you his funeral. I hope you can listen to it. I love that man so much. It is so good I think you could count it for your personal study, but I don't know what the rules are. Ang came up and we were trying to finish the 90 stories for Grandma's 90th birthday. I asked her to play the violin for prelude with me and she did it and it was so fun. I think Jim and Audrey would have loved that. In Audrey's obituary she called their lives together "an epic love story". She also bore her testimony once and said "to me he's perfect". GRATITUDE THAT BURNS LIKE A FIRE Had a VERY sweet talk with Melanie this week. She is a month in her mission and not feeling the spirit and not feeling peaceful. Really struggling with EVERYTHING, questioning her whole life. We talked for hours. I have been so respectful about bearing my testimony but when she said that the God offered her by her polygamist church is mean and vengeful and waiting to destroy her if she messes up, I felt so good about testifying of the God I know and love. I just told her how I see him, how I KNOW Him, how he has treated faulted broken "a soul so rebellious and proud as mine". It was a very very sweet experience. Theater was wild fun this week. Sam is really so so good with the kids and I appreciate his help so much. The other person on my team is Katie Rasmussen. She came to lessons and started pouring out her heart about her dreams and how she wanted to help people and kids and have some kind of a center where people can come do good-I hired her on the spot and we are having SO MUCH FUN working together. She is divine. Had a sacred day cleanin Grandma's house-helpin her get ready for Merrill to come. That woman is everything to me. I love her more than words can ever ever tell. The sacred every day, the soliloquy from Our Town, all the things. Just cleaning her counters and sprayin her toilets and vacuuming and talking about her hopes and dreams for her party-so sacred and so sweet- One of my FAVORITE days is always Wednesday. My sweet sweet yummy darling precious beyond belief take my breath away grandkids were here for the day. We played at Jen's for hours-heaven-just COVERED in the yummiest babies and drenched in fall glory- out on the tramp for a long time-both boys can kind of jump now-it is so so cute. They love to be crazy, they are turning into sweaty head little boys. Marcus's haircut has made him age a year. It has been sweet tryin to help Abby with her BYU apps and doing recs for some of my students and theater kids. So many memories with you and your sibs. Sethie took me to the ballet Monday night and it was very very fun, creepy and wonderful just to be with him-find parking downtown, see his first every ballet-giggle about things-talk together-heavenly. Halloween was super super super fun-everyone here-sloppy joes (I'm so excited to pull traditions down through the ages and carry them on)-pickles with every meal, divinity, raspberry jam, sing a hymn before dinner, ice cream interviews for EVERYONE even the inlaw kids and grandkids, Grandma Carol's $2 bills for Christmas and Grandma Walker's 8 gold coins for baptisms, golden eggs, saying what we love about the birthday person, Fairview, Christmas peanut chocolates, orange sticks, Halloween sloppy joes, blessing quilts, plates with names, (there was no question you belonged at Grandma's when we came bustin in and saw 13 pictures of us on the wall and a plate with our name on the wall, right?), cereal at Jello's, family reunions like the Jello's, cheerin off missionaries, clay pigeon hunting like Grandpa Ras- drives, Gram's poems-, maybe a handwriting contest in her honor, gardens and bottling, faith and family history work, I want a family songbook printed, sayings we say and things we cheer right as they leave or come (at Jim's funeral so many of the grandkids said he always told them "your hugs are worth more than a million dollars to me"), , lovers lane, veggie costumes, redneck hot tub, fires in the backyard, game nights, ring and runs, pranks, spirit cookies, toast, cereal, oreos in a jar, petunias in a tire, and a lot of other special traditions I want to start. I feel like we have a fresh start with the grandkids-I WANT TO LOVE THE STUFFIN RIGHT OUT OF MY FAMILY-I want to wrap them in so much love-I want to be the best Mom and Grandma that Jana can possibly be-One of the sweetest sweetest sweetest things said at Jim's funeral is that he called his sibling every single day at 5 am-I LOVE THAT SO MUCH. I'm so excited for all that-and WHAT IF WE GET A BARN! That will be even MORE fun. Grandma barn! Oh Annie, I think of those possibilities way way way too much. I need to learn how to control my brain a little more. I really do. I do think we'll get a barn somehow either way OR add a big room on to the house-something wonderful is afoot! I want to gather and host until my toes are in the jar and I'm wonderin' if I should put them in the attic or the basement-serve serve serve. Jim's funeral really brought it home-the people who care, love you and come to your funeral are the ones YOU have loved. I want to stop worryin about money and love the socks and stuffin out of everyone I can forever. I need to change! Stop worrying about change and love instead! At Jim's funeral they said WE CAN CHANGE. PEOPLE CAN CHANGE. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my social work class. I am savoring every single word. What began as a mighty volunteer effort from the heart has become a career option-it is AWESOME! I devour every chapter, salivate at every word, I love everything about it. I think our chances at getting SilverRush are slim but one of the miracles of being considered is Dad's change of heart-SO GRATEFUL Last night was sweet sweet sweet. Our house was stuffed to the brimsters with Spen and Rach and Marchants and Grandma Ras and all of our clan and Uncle Merrill jammin on the piano and it was HEAVEN ON EARTH-we have to give back-we just have to. Grandma Jan's party is rampin up for a rager! We're trying to figure out a grand entrance, maybe all of the men in white tuxes singing my girl as she rides in on her trumped up trike. I have just felt so grateful for the blessings I am drowning in that I have found myself in tears multiple times this week. I want to be such a dedicated devoted dependable disciplined disciple, someone on whom the Savior can completely rely, and send on any errand. I WANT SO MUCH TO BE BETTER-it's FAITH. Sam testified that he could look around the wards and could tell the people that are paying tithing. It's FAITH, but one must know he or she is loved before they can have faith.