Nov 20, 2023

I just want to WRITE TO YOU FOR HOURS TONIGHT! I'm aching to look into your beautiful eyes and hear everything-all your feelings and thoughts and joys and struggles and wonders and everythings-I ache for it! Monday can not come quickly enough! I'll ramble about the goings on around here: Sadie Rose is becoming very vocal. When she makes sounds the corners of her mouth shape like Ailee and it's so darling. Seeing her try to talk through those chubby cheeks is more than my heart can take. We just got back from a concert with Nate and Marissa! It was a SUPER FUN double date. The artist was "St. Paul and the Broken Bones". I want to be his best friend. Look and Feel? If Reggie Watts grew up in Alabama with a testimony. (Reggie Watts is the ted talk guy who did four different voices and had musical turrets). It was WILD. At the end he came out in a gospel singer choir robe completely made of sequins and he was laying on the floor and you could only understand half of his words, but when we looked them up they didn't make sense anyway, and his falsetto was insane-he was gospel + funk + Rhythm and blues plus a whole creation of a world of his own. LOVED IT. One of my favorite parts was the old couple a few rows away dancing crazy with no rhythm at all. GRANDMA JAN'S B-DAY PARTY! If I have found the secret to life it is LOVE-love in all the ways you can all the time you can as far and much as you can as deep and wide as you can x 100 million. This is where I've landed at 51. Wake up each day and say to Heavenly Father, "Father, How can I help people feel as loved as you have helped me feel? then say "I see you, I care how you feel, I care about your troubles, how can I bless your life and ease your burdens? You matter you are important and you are loved". Say it say it say it, say it through texts, letters, phone calls, laundry and meals and made beds, love notes, smiles, visits, drop-offs, showing up, hanging out, doorsteps and birthdays, callings and prayers, moving towards someone alone at lunch or a party, just say it say it say it. Show up, love long and hard, be on a mighty quest to be sure that no one goes unnoticed, unthanked, uncelebrated, unloved. Now, having said that, I watched my hero, my Grandma Jan look in the eyes of 500. FIVE FREAKIN HUNDRED PEOPLE that came because she loved, noticed, cared for, cared about, cried with and sat in the mud with EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. It was sacred. There she sat in her pinkalicious chair and outfit crying with people for 3 SOLID HOURS WITHOUT ONE SINGLE BREAK. She has changed the quote "to know her is to love her" into "to know her is to be loved". There is a woman named Tabitha in the Bible. She helped, loved, fed and cared for so many people that when she passed away the whole community begged Paul to bring her back to life, and He did. I watched a living, breathing Tabitha and all the people that her love has breathed life into. I thought of all the hard things she has done and how she has never given up. 90 years of showing up, loving up, cheering up, lifting up, 90 years of seeing, caring and blessing. It was absolutely sacred. Loving other people is the only thing that matters, which brings me to my next point: The more I live and learn I know for sure that some suffering helps us do the loving better. The more we understand what things are like the better we can minister. We can suffer to succor like the Savior did. The more I live and come to understand this the more I am inclined to thank my Heavenly Father for loving me enough to let me hurt so I can help others because I know how they feel. This is a freeing and delicious truth to me, it separates me from the awful feeling that God doesn't care if he doesn't rescue or remove the hard, rather, He gave me the hard because he loves me and wants me to understand so I can help. I want to help. Seth is joy. Last night, 11:45 pm, Seth and Sam are writing a song. They taught me the violin part and during the three minute run through Seth played the rhythm sticks, the guitar, the drums and the trumpet. Just another Thursday night at the Christensen home. I think so often what my life would be like now if I had said "Oh greif and taters I don't want to have another kid, they're so much work and I'm nearly plumb tuckered out..." oh what we would have missed. Lydia is MAKING PROGRESS. In hours and minutes we will have a little "No mi mi". It seems that heaven is determined to give the best of everything to all of us, and by the best of everything I mean babies. Theater is so fun it makes my kidneys ache from laughin. We are doing a version of the Christmas Carol that happens on a pirate ship. Hook in his drunken reverie demands a play and the only book on the ship is the Christmas Carol. Most of the pirates can't read, but Hook threatens to have them walk the plank if they don't entertain him to his liking! They start in to save their own necks overacting, add in pirate's incredible superstition and fear of ghosts, mispronounced words and a bunch of pirates "hearing the story for the first time" while trying to act it out, and end the whole thing with a weeping pile of grown men hugging Tiny Tim, and we had more fun last night than should be legal. Also the Joseph play is SO SO SO SO FUN. Sam is incredible with the kids and so talented in dancing and they just love him. We are loving theater right now. Wednesday, Grandma day, I started to sing "Happy and you know it" with the guitar and Marcus went to the big basket of books and found the happy and you know it book and brought it to me. BRILLIANT! The boys are so so funny and cute, getting more and more interactive with each other. We were going to wait until it got warmer to take them to see the horses, but we negotiated and lost. They both put their little hands on Jeff's face and looked in this eyes and started making horsey spitting sounds and saying "neigh" and "Apple" and within a minute or two we were in the car with Ailee and Lyla too. Ella is really going, In January, to live with Natalie. I think she will learn and grow an experience and appreciate her family more and a lot of positive things will happen but I fear fear fear the boys. Derek is really really struggling. His condition is pretty severe. It hurts even with normal little activities. He literally could have a heart attack at any time. They have a defibrillator now. I'm aching for him. Writing a big letter-praying on how to help. He's taking it like a man but he's lost his identity and is failing classes and not going to school except for the classes he likes. He shaved his head bald, signed up for SUU, told Ang he was going directly on his mission and looked at buying a motorcycle all in quick order. God will turn all things for good. He knows that too,but it's STILL HARD. I'm repenting of barn lust. I have felt bad this week that I have spread my desires far and wide instead of my gratitude for my parent's generosity. Spenny and Kaela are coming so close to her graduation. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing all about their SNAP calling, the special needs mutual. Her "choir" was running up and down the aisles in the chapel belting Disney songs. They love that calling so much. Griffin has learned to say his name. He says "Viffin". It is the yummiest. Viffin and Nomimi. Coy and Bekah got a 3 bedroom at Y View, close to Y mount. That will be so good for the 2 little boys! Coy is nearly halfway through law school. Mckay had a crazy thing at work. His company was trying to get their satellite to talk to a sattelite from another company. It had been aproblem for weeks, and the other company had flown out no less than 8 engineers to try and solve the problem. they had been working on it for weeks. Mckay walked out and solved it. Joseph and Alee are going to Costa Rica for an anniversary trip over Thanksgiving. We are still delivering compost-rock-bark-gravel-3 loads today. It really is hard to believe. Grandma Jan called me three times while I was in the shower today-when I picked up she just wanted to let me know that Cami hurt her ankle at work but it's not broken. How do we get a love like that, that level of care for so many? Today I attended the funeral of a very special special needs girl. I think you may remember her. Sharon? It was so so sweet. Sharon just loved. Emmalicious came over on Wednesday and stayed for a while and talked and played with babies. It was wonderful. She has a leadership interview on Saturday for Oakcrest. in other news.... WE BOUGHT A FREAKIN CAMPER FROM UNCLE MARK AND AUNT JULIE! The responsible thing to do probably Would have been pay off the cars and get some dental work done but WE BOUGHT A CAMPER INSTEAD!!! IT'S MORE FUN! It's so ugly 1980's orange and I LOVE IT. I'm so excited to pull up for someone's birthday with ready to go party in the back an have them come out for 10 minutes to celebrate, to follow the SilverRush kids with hot chocolate and a bathroom, to make a karaoke dance party and food truck out of a parking lot, to go stay at the grandkid's houses and have a grandma party in the driveway, to kidnap people and go on adventures and to do lots of fun things that jeff can do because the camper will bring the things he needs to go on adventures, bathrooms and power. HALLELUJAH! It's so ugly it's cute. You will love it. Tomorrow we're taking Grandma Raspberry, picking up Aunt Deanne and Aunt Neddie and going out to eat with all of them in Ephraim. Seth and Marcus are coming too. I'm only worried about No mi mi coming while we're gone. Ailee and Lyla got scripture scouts on their yolo and Ailee was running around singing "the prooomised land". Levi is SO CUTE in theater, I have Leo and Levi and Ailee and Lyla-too yummy. They are doing "Run Run Rudolph" and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and three songs from Joseph. Lifelong dream-CHECK! I BOUGHT 25 CHILDREN'S CHOIR ROBES! They will sing in them then toss them away with their Egypt clothes underneath for the Pharoah song but really I just wanted them. I'm writing a song for Christmas for the primary and young men young women to sing together. Here are the lyrics at this point, still working on it, The night was dark the air was chill The silent grave held loved ones still The chains of sin shacked in shame There was no hope unless he came (First verse of Silent Night) He brought down hope for home and heaven Because of Him we'd be forgiven the loved and lost would live again He came to be our greatest friend (Second verse of Silent night) Allelujah, in love He came He knows our heart, He knows our name No greater love the world has known He came to bring us safely home Silent night third verse (all together very softly with only violin, no piano) -or rousing third verse with organ coming in and congregation joining) We're taking Grandma Raspberry and Aunt Deanne and Aunt Neddie all out to lunch tomorrow! I'M SO EXCITED TO GET THESE PRECIOUS LADIES TOGETHER AND LOVE THEM. Kristy Anderson's mother's funeral is tomorrow. Life is precious precious precious. We were able to go to precious little Henry's 4th birthday party Wednesday night. He was SO EXCITED about everything-he always is. Such a yummy little power tank. St Paul and the Broken Bones Emmy and Jake Kaden Davis- Even though we prayed and prayed for my big brother Kaden to survive Leukemia, he died. Even though he was just 9 years old, he still died. I learned alot about Jesus when he died. One of the things I learned is that Jesus' friend Lazarus and Jesus' friend John the Baptist died so he knows how I feel. I know that it was Jesus' plan for Kaden to go to the Spirit World. I think that it was because he was so faithful. I know that what Jesus does is the best thing. I know that every feeling that I have had after Kaden died; Jesus has felt those feelings too. I am going to talk about two feelings. One of the feelings is sadness. When I cry because I miss Kaden, I remember that Jesus wept when he heard that Lazarus was dead. The other feeling I am going to talk about is peace. I know that Jesus gives peace. I know that Jesus gives peace because we call him the Prince of Peace. I know that everyone can get their body back. I know that everyone that makes the right covenants can have eternal life. This year, I am going to get baptized. I have faith and will read the Book of Mormon before I get baptized. I know that Jesus is my big brother like Kaden and I love both of them. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. trip to Ephriam, Millburn and Fairview