February 8, 2021

Mack.....in a weird place. Dad's been in surgery for two and half ours and they said it would take one and a half. Wish you were here with me, just for today. My gratitude has sustained me. When things get hard and crazy, and when I am NOT ALL I WANT TO BE WHICH IS ALWAYS, I dig deep and think about how deeply, how immensely, how profoundly, how exquisitely and creatively and colorfully God has blessed me. I think about how every breath is a gift. That has always "worked' for me. I think about what a sacred privilege it is to have the sun on my shoulders and feel the wind in my hair, to take in a sunset with a pair of eyes that I didn't pay for, that someone just gave me as a gift. I can't even speak about the sacred blessing of holding babies that heaven has shared with me in my arms, of loving your Dad and belonging to him, of watching all of you grow. I knew it was going to be fun, but I had not idea how fun. That doesn't even touch the Savior's redemption, rescue and ransom. That's where I go. I try to sit in my blessings and smell them and feel them and think about them and go over and over and over and over all God has done for me. How astounding it is to realize that HE WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON US! His arms are outstretched still. Mack. Dad's getting a hip replacement. Seth was ordained a teacher yesterday and it was SO PRECIOUS. That kid is on fire. He is trying to read the Book of Mormon every month, green drinks, 100 pushups a day, read great books, actually WANTS to practice the piano. He stepped in and started pulling the handcart himself. The setting apart blessing was so awesome. It talked about family, service, education, priesthood service. Annie sure looked gorgeous on Saturday and was SO HAPPY. I wish I could help her better with stress management. She never wants to let anyone down and tries so hard to do it all, I think that is part of her headaches. She is doing awesome, but getting up and going to school every day is such a trial. I ache for her. I don't think anyone realizes how difficult it is. She has a headache all of the time. I don't know what else to try. The doctors are suggesting seizure medicine with some pretty crazy side effects. and we pray and we pray and we pray. But on Saturday she never felt prettier. Coy jumped up on the pull up bar and it crashed and he bruised his neck shoulder and elbow. We played with a new smash up expansion. Bekah loves teaching at BYU. Lydia is graduating in April and working at a baby clothes company and the babies are driving her crazy...GOOD! Good is what I say! BRING IT ON! Mooks is applying for crazy internships everywhere. He interviewed with Lockheed Martin. Spenny is crazy furniture man! We have a new sectional, new rug that DO NOT MATCH, two new accent chairs and other crazy stuff. Everyone just laughs when they come in our house because there is furniture EVERYWHERE! He's trying to make super big life decisions. Ailee Jane came over and painted everybody's toenails. They just let her do it and it's all over their toes. So funny. Trek is cancelled. Super sad. Really truly. I hope Dad's okay.